Nooooooo. Where did yesterday's weather go??! I had a sun dress and curls all picked out for today. Thank you Mother Nature.

Ahhhh (sigh) I'm sitting so comfortably on my deck in the sun with my eyes closed and a smile on my face!

"I'm surrounded by idiots." hahahahahaha. I love television.

Is having a night at the Roxbury! Yes! Happy Birthday to my girl!

It may be raining but my parade is still going! Cant put a damper on MY mood! Ready for a GREAT night!!

Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.

Seriously, I've texted SO much in the last two hours my hands are cramping!! Lol.

Okay. On my last post where it says LIVE... It should definitely say LOVE. Makes more sense now. Sorry! Stupid iPhone.

Giving someone false hope should be illegal. I'm going to live jail. I've committed a live felony. FML. I walked myself RIGHT into this.

Manda

Definitely told this guy I dint want to be with him. Still lied, gave him hope for the future so I didnt break his heart too bad. I still feel shitty.

Why do I get myself into these messes!

Getting over a breakup with the guy you thought was the one really sucks.

I miss matt..

/:
Mandate

The things I want in life I want them with HIM. This is so unfair.

Shitty day so far. And full of lies.
Manda

I'm miserable. I'm an idiot and I'm miserable. I'm technically with a guy I care nothing about and I want to be with my ex so bad. I don't understand why we just can't be together. I seriously don't. And I just feel like it's not fair. The things I want

Pretty sure I'm an idiot. While bing caught up in the moment in wanting to get married and wanting to be pregnant you want to know what i did?

Dumbass irrational me went to the previous mentioned guys house to get him to ask me to marry him. If there was a ring. It would have happened tonight.

So currently we are "together" and I'm not engaged to an army man, I'm not hereby pregnant tonight. But I'm "together" with someone I don't really want to be with unless he can marry me and give mr children.

But of course now I'm stuck. Yes I know This is all my fault. Damnitt. Why do I do these thingsto myself?

I'm currency at his house as well, wishing I could just be like "nevermind! Sorry! See ya!" but I can't. I've already gotten this poor guys hopes up and promised all this shit and dug y hole wayyyyy deep.

Great. FML.
Manda

Desperate

So I have spend the last three or four hours on the internet signing up for internet dating sites. I'm now on Match, Zoosk, and eHarmony. Now tell me..why do I feel like a dumbass?

Honestly I wish finding a soulmate was MUCH easier. I just want to get married and have kids damnitt. But i cant just choose anybody. I want someone who I can legitimately start a family with. Move in with and we can build a home. I want to fall in love and be the perfect housewife and become a mother.

Being anxious isn't helping me. I guess since my ex and I broke up I've kinda gotten this feeling that...finding your soulmate takes a long time, so I better start now. I dont want to wait until im 40 to get married and start a family. I want to be in my 20's. call me crazy but thats just what I want.

Ive gotten over trying to get my ex back. that'll never happen anyway. He clearly doesnt want me OR what i want anymore. So I'm just accepting it and moving on. TRYING TO AT LEAST.

All these online dating sites are free to sign up for yes, but you cant freaking talk to anyone unless you pay like 30 dollars a month. what the hell is that. Thats another phone bill is what that is!

I do have this friend who is crazy about me. he, ironically, wants the same things i do. and he actually wants them with me. so you think "well why not get with him dumbass?!" well, he smokes, I hate smoking. he is short, strongly dislike people shorter than me. He's not very attractive, my daughter better look damn good when she's born..I'm all about baby makin but they gotta come out as cute babies. yeah i know this all sounds shallow but still. im not into this guy at all or i would just tell him to marry me today. because i know he would.

trust me, im doing my investigative work though. dont ask about that one, ill explain later if i find out anything good...or bad.....

im just a girl who wants a fairy tale ending. PLEASEEEE!!!!!!!!

Manda

I'm gonna be honest. I'm so ready to get married and have a daughter.. Why can't I just find my freaking soulmate right now. Ughhhhhhhh.
Go ahead and tell me I'm not ready or tell me I'm too young. I don't care. This is m dream. Seriously my dream. To be the perfect susie homemaker housewife. if somebody I was into proposed to me right now.. And it were posible for us to move into together I would SOO say yes.
Sorry. Blurt moment.

Manda

It's not good to have a booty call with your ex...lol. But MAN my last two hours were nuts!

Shout out to my girl karissa! Just told her to go and read my blog.. this girl is something else.. :)

Manda

Definately think that last post went through twice. My bad!

Oh mr blog I've missed you! Haven't posted in over 24 hours. Yes I know I have no life. But I have a follower now! Thanks Coy!
Everyone follow her blog it's pretty cool called First In Philly
Currently I'm sitting on the couch watching house. I love this show. And I love house. He cracks me up. It's rare that you meet someone with a good dry sense of humor.
I do wish I could post pictures while on my phone.. I snap so many pictures with my iPhone during the day. I wouldn't deffinately let you guys see my new tattoo.
Speaking of.. Turned out good for what we got finished.. But we DIDN'T finish is the thing
Gotta do it in two sittings
I sat there for about two and a half hours and still has about another hour to go and we just decided to go ahead and quit for the night and I would just come back.
It was starting to get really tender anyway.
It doesn't really hurt now.. It's sore for sure but not too bad. My foot tar was way worse.

*sigh..I should probably sleep..and charge my phone. More so the second one..
Night all

Manda

Oh mr blog I've missed you! Haven't posted in over 24 hours. Yes I know I have no life. But I have a follower now! Thanks Coy!
Everyone follow her blog it's pretty cool called First In Philly
Currently I'm sitting on the couch watching house. I love this show. And I love house. He cracks me up. It's rare that you meet someone with a good dry sense of humor.
I do wish I could post pictures while on my phone.. I snap so many pictures with my iPhone during the day. I wouldn't deffinately let you guys see my new tattoo.
Speaking of.. Turned out good for what we got finished.. But we DIDN'T finish is the thing
Gotta do it in two sittings
I sat there for about two and a half hours and still has about another hour to go and we just decided to go ahead and quit for the night and I would just come back.
It was starting to get really tender anyway.
It doesn't really hurt now.. It's sore for sure but not too bad. My foot tar was way worse.

*sigh..I should probably sleep..and charge my phone. More so the second one..
Night all

Manda

Gretchen just said this "it's like a dying power tool, like a dildo or something.."
Hahahahahaha
This girl is a doozy

Manda

Currently getting tatted up! And yes I'm really sitting here on my iPhone while getting a tattoo. The dad thing is that it's a big one this time so it'll take longer and my phone battery is down at 10%. So once it dies I'll have to rely on gretchen to distract me. Yeah wish me luck with that! Haha

Manda
Newly tatted (almost)

Wish I had followers! Guhh..
Lol, sorry.

Lol I sent that one post about the footprints to my FB ad my ex texted me and said "lol I hope the footprints to the face wasn't a reference to me.."
Too funny.
Manda

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm
****whines
I think my wisdom teeth are finally coming in. At least that's what I think..my jaw hurts pretty bad in the back, not sure why. Its only the left side so I'm not sure. Anyone know what it is?

Manda

Heard this from Erins daughter on FB.

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and some come into our lives and make us want to leave footprints on their face.

Hahahahahahahaha
Manda

So when I started following Justin bieber on twitter I chose to have all his posts texted to my phone. WELL. Not only does Justin bieber tweet a lot but he has over 8 million fans that all tweet about him too so my phone just goes off all day and it driving me nuts! I tried t go on there are revers it but I don't know how. Somebody help me!

Finally back at school today. I've been playing hookey for the last couple of days. Right now we aren't doing much since there aren't any clients just doing things on each other. Amanda w is getting an eyelash tint, he did just get a brow wax and janette is Doing it all. Ruthie is giving ms kristi a massage. Shes pregnant and due any day now so shes Been pretty uncomfortable lately. Brit, Jaime, rises, me and the sub instructor are all just hanging out. I wish I could be sleeping.. But sleeping doesn't pay the bills.. Like I pay any of mine yet.

Bummer. I just tried to send pics from my phone to see If I could post them from here just like my regular posts and it didn't work. Boo

Seriously whoever invented shape-ups get on my nerves. Those things are the ugliest things I've ever seen and they don't even work..

Followers?

I just spent the last hour or so blogging and looking at other people's blogs to start following a few people. I think I picked up about 5 or so..tried looking for people I shared interests with or that were around my age. Hopefully they will follow me too? Who knows, but like i said, you can only talk to yourself for so long. I enjoy feedback..so I cant wait to start getting some...if i ever do that is lol. 2am this time..I have to actually get up and go to school tomorrow morning so I should probably try to go to sleep before 5am this time. Goodnight all.

Manda

So I've been giving him his time but have been driving myself crazy trying o think of how to win him over..

What should I do?

Manda

We talked on Monday about it and I explained what I did and why and that I just love him and wish I could just take it all back and he just said okay. I asked if we could just be together and he would answer me. He said he loved me and he didn't want this either but it's not okay forme to just freak out and pack up and leave whenever I want to. We are NOT going to break up and get back together a million times he said. And he was like if you want to get back together then okay. But it won't be today and won't be tomorrow. I asked if it would be at all. And he just said i don't know. I need my Time. You owe me that.

The conversation ended with a let's just see where this goes kind of thing but still I was hurt and I felt like I wasn't good enough otherwise he would always want me or he was just telling me why bother. And I texted my mom and talked to her about it because I didn't know what the right thing to do was. And her and two other people I was texting all told me that we were better off apart because otherwise I was just wasting my time and I would someday be miserable with him if I didn't. So I was all scared and emotional and I didnt know what to do and I just wanted to do the right thing so I went to his house whil he was out and gathered my things and then waited for him to come home. It hurt like hell. Both of us crying. I hated it. But for some reason I thought I was doin the right thing. Turns out who knows what would or could happen in th future. What really mattered to me was that I love him and I want to be withhim because he makes me happy. But by the time I realized that it wa too late

We had this talk about goals and dreams and what we both wanted. Someday I wanted to get married and have a family and be the cookie cutter pottery barn type and matt wants to be a politician and always be busy with two or three jobs andhe said the thought of marriage or kids just wasn't appealing to him at all. An eventually it was the I don't ever want to get married even if we were together for ten years. I was so upset and disappointed because thats not always how he felt. I remember him one day him talking about what names he might name his daugtrr. But he was so firm in his decision while telling me. And he told me that I deserve better because I do so much for him and he doesn't do anything for me and it wasn't fair for us to be together if I had hope for our future and he never wanted to be anything more than what we already are

So my ex that I mentioned im trying to win back definately just shut me down. I sent him a couple pictures of funny memories from like last year and he just said "you need to quit. With the pics" so much for trying to help him make up his mind. I'm such an idiot. I just want him back..and I'm truly failing at trying.

It us still soooooooo hot in hereereeee!!!!!!!! Ugh

It's freaking after 5am, why am I still up?? ughhhhhhhh.

Manda

She's So Dead to Us

Just got done reading this book I bought at the Borders thats closing in Evansville. "She's So Dead to Us" I seriously finished it in two nights I was so dived in. googled to see if there was a sequal and turns out THERE IS! but it doesnt come out until june 7. i think i might dieeee!! but its 4:30am..NIGHT!

Manda

sitting in an oven

So i'm currently sitting in my room at my moms house, where i live, and the thermostat up here in my room reads 86 degrees. of course the thermostat downstairs says its set to be 73 throughout the house. Our circulatory air system is just great isnt it?

My house is a 3 bed 2 bath with a bonus room above the 2 car garage and an unfinished basement. My room is the bonus room. Its the biggest bedroom in the whole house and I definately have my privacy up here but the downfall is obviously that its always sooooo hott up here. AND the fact that I feel like i have to walk a mile to the bathroom sometimes. Sometimes I wish I could trade my mother bedrooms. nice jacoozi tub..big ass closet you could party in..the room isnt that big and its in the center of the house, but i think i could deal with that. its a pros and cons kind of thing. but obviously, she paid for this house and my step dad moved in with us, so they get that room by default. walking up and down the stairs to my room is probably the most exercise I get. which is probably one of the reasons its good that im up here.

but back to the real problem..its freaking 86 degrees in here!!! WTF. in the winter i usually just open my window and let the cold air blow in. since my two ceiling fans dont do much justice other than blowing around all the warm air. but now that its march its starting to get warm and even though im positive its not 86 outside, it'll just feel the same if i choose to open the window. one time i thought about maybe getting one of those window air conditioner thingies..but my window is definately the main focus of the house other than the garage and that just wouldnt look right. plus im sure its against the neighborhood rules just like everything else.

our neighborhood has those rules that like are completely useless and are only written to take up space. in most neighborhoods that have rules they have like this pamphlet that they just pass out to all the residents. our pamphlet is longer than the encyclopedia rather than being 10 pages or less like normal. The rules that are more concrete are the ones like, dont park on the street, you must park in the driveway. and you arent allowed to have campaign signs in your front yard. you also arent allowed to have boats or trailors. I take back the concrete comment. these are just stupid. if i want to park on the street so im not blocked in, get over it. and my now exboyfriend is running for public office, so you best believe that ill have his damn sign that I DESIGNED in my front yard. once again, get over it. you also arent allowed to have yard sales. when we first moved in we combined two complete households (ours and my new step dads) into this one and there were things from years beyond. my little brother is 8 and we still had things like his baby clothes, basinet, and baby toys. but halfway during our yard sale we found out that we arent allowed to have one. appearantly the whole neighborhood has a "neighborhood yard sale" once a year in june and thats the only time we're allowed to have it. but did we pack up and wait till june?? NOPE. my mom practices that "try to stop me" attitude. its not like we could get evicted or anything (dont think so at least) i mean because we own our house. but..they could definately get on our nerves knocking on our door everyday letting us know we're breaking the rules.

my moms on the commitee now so she still kinda does whatever she wants to but tried to be discrete about it so theres no drama. thats all we need is some desperate housewives shit on our block. (i love that show! haha)

okay well while im sitting here baking in my oven im going to put together some music for this sunday's church. my now exbf is doing the sermon and i had offered to take care of the music. he's really busy anyway, figured it'd help him out.

night all.
manda

I think I have decided to name my car christy...that was a smart suggestion from my grandma.. Christy the Chrysler

My ex and I just broke up about four days ago. And long story short I'm trying to win him back. But without driving him crazy. He said he needed time to think so I'm trying to give him his space but also do the whole flirt act happy i can make you happy this is what you miss kind of thing. Yeah il let you know how that works for me. I'm so nuts about this kid..

Okay that last post was an accident lol.

Son

Is a fairy tale ending a lot to ask for?

Watching this new movie called The Switch with my grandma.. Wonder if it's gonna be any good

I wish I already had some followers..that is if I ever get any.. I thinkyou can only talk o yourself for so long

Oh! Speaking of, I finally figured out how to post from my iPhone lol

So I finally cleaned out my old car. I had a ford Taurus and the transmission went out, in the middle f the highway I should add, and since then I've gotten a new car. I was driving my moms mini van for a while. I named it jelly bean since it was purple. Yes, a purple mini van. But my step dad had just passed ha Chrysler 300 over to me abs he is going to get a new car. I Need to figure a name for this one. It's a black C300.. Mamaw said I should name it christy. Probably considering that. I'm weird like that I always name my cars.

iPhone for Dummies

So I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to find the app so I can turn of my computer and pos from my iphone. it's deffinately be MUCH more convenient.

First Post

Hello World. This is my first blog. I guess I'm starting it just so I have a way to vent..modern technology has taken over journals and diaries so obviously everything is now on the internet. Its also going to be easy to post from my iphone. my laptop is really slow, I hate getting on it. Another reason I kinda resorted to a blog was so I could possible get feedback if I obtain any followers. I'm out of school now and all my friends I grew up with have all moved away so I dont really have my core group of friends giving me advice anymore. Whoever told you that facebook lets you stay in touch with your friends was exaggerating. I'm "friends" with them on FB, but do we talk anymore? Negative. I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue. Anyway, if anyone DOES end up reading any of this. Dont be afraid to be honest. I'd rather someone be brutally honest and it help me out than just ignore me or just try to be nice. post later..

manda